On Rejection and the Challenges of Being a HS Senior

Of all of my life experiences, one that especially stands out for me was receiving my doctoral degree from Boston College in 2005.  The degree itself is framed and hangs on the wall of my office.  It represents the failure, rejection, despair, persistence and success that have come to me at various phases of my life.  It also stands as a reminder that although things do not always go according to my plans, they always seem to work out in the end.  I have been thinking about this a lot lately as I observe some of our students celebrating college acceptances, while others despair over rejections, and others still, choose not to travel the college route at all.  I believe for all of them, all will be well.

As a high school student, I was unfocused and immature.  When it came time to apply to college I wanted to go to Boston College like so many of my family members, but my qualifications were not there and it did not happen.  I felt dejected and found myself attending my safety school.  I carried this disappointment with me for years.  Somehow, in my mind I felt the school I had been accepted to just did not meet my expectations or those of the high school and community I grew up in.  Some years later when I learned about a doctoral program for aspiring superintendents offered at Boston College, I was excited and ready to go.  I wanted a shot at redemption and this seemed meant to be.  Unfortunately, I could not get the support of the school district I was working for, because the program required being out of school for a number of days each year, and  I was forced to withdraw my application.  I was disappointed and doubted I would ever again get the chance to be a “BC Eagle”.  In fact, it was to be another eight years before the opportunity would present itself again.  This time though, everything seemed to fall into place perfectly.  I heard about a new cohort being formed, sent in my application and was admitted on the first try.  Three years and many late nights later, I defended my dissertation and became Dr. Keough!

Looking back on the entire experience, I realize that my rejection from Boston College as an undergraduate was not a bad thing.  In fact, it was a good thing.  Not only did I meet my wife at my safety school, but I also found myself.  I learned more about my strengths and weaknesses, received the support I needed at a very challenging time in my life, and developed a lifelong desire to prove to myself that I could achieve at high levels, regardless of what others told me.  Without the experience of being rejected from my top school, I may never have gone on for my doctorate.  In retrospect, it seems that what I for so long considered to be my undergraduate “failure”, was in fact my undergraduate “success”. 

As we think of our senior students, deep in the throes of figuring out their next “big” moves in life, let us remind them that this is merely a small moment in time and that getting into the “dream school” or knowing exactly who you want to be as an adult is not always an easy process.  Failure, rejection, uncertainty, persistence, and success are all part of the deal.  During this critical juncture in our older students’ lives, maybe we should stick to the basics and simply remind them of how much they mean to us, how much we believe in them, and especially, that we believe they have the resilience necessary to face setbacks.  Sometimes setbacks are a blessing in disguise.

All the best,
Andrew